The views expressed below are solely mine and my years of observation of the human mind-reading. With this article ,I intend to draw the attention of my readers on one of the significant factors of an all-round personality which is PROPER LISTENING SKILL.
HISTORY: It was the year 1994 that proved to be the turning point of my career as a teacher and a soft skills trainer. I was awaiting my appointment letter for the job of the air-hostess . As I had some days left for the arrival of the appointment letter, my eyes fell on an All India Essay Writing Contest to be conducted by the international magazine'Competition Success Review'. I had never tried my hand in the field of essay writing but something prompted me to participate.
After a few days, I was surprised to see my essay ,winning the third place and it was also published in the magazine (october 94 issue). Soon followed the huge fan-mail , requesting me to train the people in the field of soft skills development.
It was a Black Cat Commando from Gurgaon district who seriously asked me to help the IAS aspirants with the basic art of self expression through listening. Soon I decided to drop the idea of flying and became a full-fledged teacher, a trainer who could help the younger generation to learn the soft skills and excel in their respective careers.
WHAT EXACTLY ARE THE SOFT SKILLS?
They are like the helpline numbers to aid a personality.
They are like software packages – the results of the various kinds of inner skills within the minds of the people.
They are normally divided into four categories – Reading , Writing , Listening and Speaking.
Reading and Speaking are widely popular as they require much of the vocal faculty of a person and less of deep concentration.
Listening and Writing are the least preferred by the younger generation as they require a lot of concentration, patience and a great deal of thinking capacity.
( The above-mentioned 4th and the 5th points are based on my workshops and personality analysis tests done on my college students ranging from the under-graduates to the Researchers.)
WHAT IS LISTENING AND HOW IS THE PROCESS DONE?
Listening is a very important faculty in a human body as it helps every living being to take in a command given by an outer element . I had a very interesting student in one of my classes in the college, who would just close his ears if he found anything irrelevant spoken by his friends. When asked, he said “ I want only the sensible things to go into my head and I always close my ears for anything that my mind does not intend to feed in.”
This was a strange case but one need not try this to make the listening ability more powerful. The matter of relevance here is how to concentrate and make the listening faculty better.
Some of the situations where our listening requires to be moderated are as follows:
What happens to my listening capacity when someone keeps talking to me for a long time? (eg. Friends , teachers and other known people)
Case Solution : It is true that when we listen for a long time to a friend or a teacher, we are likely to lose our concentration and our mind starts wavering to other thoughts. In this process, it is even possible that the friends are able to find that you are not listening to them and they get offended. The former President of America , John F. Kennedy, faced the similar problem which even resulted in him losing a group of friends.
What can a person do to improve his listening and retain a good relationship with his friends and teachers?
Here are a few tips to improve your listening for a better communication:
a) As a friend addresses you with his or her piece of a long information, SHIFT YOUR FOCUS of attention FROM ONE EYE TO THE OTHER and VICE VERSA. Continue this exercise and you will find that you are able to concentrate better.
b) A good body language also helps in the process. USE YOUR BODY LANGUAGE WHILE YOU SPEAK to your friend. This helps in a better communication with more understanding.
c)When you get up in the morning after your sleep, take a few minutes to sit quietly on your bed. Close your eyes lightly. Relax your body and feel your breathing. When you are comfortable in your posture, just LISTEN AND CONCENTRATE ON THE NOISES THAT YOU HEAR OUTSIDE YOUR ROOM. This exercise can be done for 5 to 10 minutes . This helps in concentrating better in a class and listening to the teachers as they speak for a long time.
d) NEVER TRY TO FORCE YOUR CONCENTRATION on your listening ability . This may result in a negative and a harmful Stress. Be gentle in your approach.
e) Finally try to improve your listening by PAYING ATTENTION TO A SOOTHING SOUND, A SOOTHING ATMOSPHERE AND A PLEASANT ENVIRONMENT.
WHAT WAS THE RESULT OF THE ABOVE – MENTIONED TESTS ON MY THREE GROUPS OF STUDENTS?
At first , I tried these tests with the under-graduates as they are easy to be handled due to their complete ignorance of the true art of the self-expression, required in pursuing their careers. It was very difficult for me to tune them to my tests as some of them said they were very scared when they sat silently and concentrated. However they gave me a positive feedback after their completion of the degree course that the tests really helped them to improve their concentration as they sat silently in the class, listening to the long hours of the lectures.
Secondly I tried these tests with only the girl students and the results were beyond my expectation. Most of them came to me with much satisfaction on their faces as they said that they found it very interesting to listen to their friends and teachers.
The Post Graduates comprising MBA, MSc and MCA students came out with many interesting pieces of information after going through these tests. They told me that they not only improved their listening skills but in the process they also learnt the ART OF SPEAKING BETTER. As they spoke better, they also got a better listening audience and received huge applauses.
I was prompted to express my views on THE ART OF LISTENING by the autobiography of Lee Iaccocca who had sadly expressed in his book that unfortunately we do not have any institution in the world for the improvement of our listening ability.Thus the idea of experimenting with our listening skills generated in my mind and I am happy that the process is helping me to help the people in a better way of communication.
Some of my students are very well placed in their respective careers today and even when they write to me, they express their deep gratitude saying how the art of listening is actually helping them to tackle the corporate lifestyle where they face umpteen challenges almost everyday. The situations that they have faced and tackled are ( as told to me):
Listening to their seniors with respect even if any idea of refute is expressed by the latter.
Facing the tense situations like the rude behaviour of the bosses and the sarcastic remarks by the colleagues patiently.
Completing the assigned tasks properly, without creating confusion.
Handling the 18 hour job schedule calmly and with patience without reacting to the lack of time for the recreation.
Handling very stressful situations like a love-failure or maintaining the family values on one side and the urban corporate mindset on the other with good deal of patience and understanding.
We are living in a fast changing world and we do not have time to blame someone else for our incapabilities. What we have to learn is how we can think smart and improve our areas which need to be checked for a better performance in the field of self – expression.
REMEMBER A PERSONALITY IS NOT JUDGED BY WHAT YOU WEAR , WHAT YOU SPEAK AND WHAT YOU THINK..........IT IS JUDGED BY HOW YOU WEAR , HOW YOU SPEAK AND HOW YOU THINK..............................
